Friday, August 29, 2014
Breathing
Occasionally, it sucks to be a person. It feels like all of the breath is escaping from my body in vain. What do my individual moments even mean. There is so much I want to do- so much I want to be. But instead I am stuck living the day in/ day out "adventure" of breathing my moments away like the rest of humanity. This is not to say that there are not moments of joy. It is simply to say that amidst, there is always moments of void- of space. I want to help end hunger. I want to help bring joy and love. But there are duties that every human it seems is obligated to fulfill. Because when I want to comfort a hurting friend, I must go to classes. When my body is sick and needs sleep, I must go to work. While there are children in foster care without a home, I must build my future so that I can make a home. It seems like life is always a step ahead. I am always working for the future and rarely for the present. All the things that I want... Must wait. All of the injustice I see or hear about in the world, I have no leverage to change. I can live for Jesus in the little moments but what if I want my life to be worth more. What if I can't handle seeing the injustice and pain around me any longer? And so I breathe in... I breathe out... And that is one less breath I have forever.
8/29/14
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I have also felt this way so many times. SO just know you are not alone. There are many ideas I have had about how I could help people..how I could leave a mark on this planet. But like you said at this moment in time we don't have much of a choice but to live a mundane life. And while that may be a breath you will never experience again...at least don't let it be spent in vain. Britta you are a wonderful woman. If God's plan for you includes those things you want to do...then someday somehow they will happen.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Morgan!:)
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