What if no one could accept me or love me as I am? What if even God himself has turned his back on me and is ashamed of who I have become? Broken... apathetic... unknown to anyone... what if my secrecy leaves me more alone than I know? 4/7/2019 I wrote the above a year and a half ago. I wrote it as I felt lost, alone, scared, and ashamed. Truth be told I am still all of those things. But I look at the first sentence I wrote and I just sit here and cry because people do now know me and they still found it in their heart to be able to accept me, to love me. It has been the greatest reflection of Christ I have ever known. Now I just have to find a way back to loving myself... I wept in the bathroom mirror before I took a shower this morning, viewing my naked abandoned body aware that I was not enough to keep or to hold. What else did I need to be? What more did I need to become? 7/4/2020